NEVER say NEVER

Rule:  Just because you have checked your research resources before, don’t stop looking in the same places over and over again, ever so often.

Example:  I had the name of my grandmother, MARGARET L. ALEXANDER, from the beginning of my journey into genealogy.  When I first began, my sister and I found in our mother’s bible a list of names for the grandparents and great grand parents.  I knew the grandparent’s names, but had never heard the names of the “greats.”  As I have said before, my family were not story tellers.  I suppose that paper had been in that bible all our lives, but we never knew it was there.

My PARKERs and ARANTs had pretty well been filled in and were a “gift” from my cousin, Darlene Parker Smith.  She was the one who encouraged (forced ! ) me to begin my HAYWOOD search.  I blame this obsession on her!  (:-D

My HAYWOODs, except for the current generation, were pretty much a blank slate.  I have written before about how I found Benton, my great great grandfather by accident while researching at Morning Star Lutheran Church in Mecklenburg County, NC, (Butterfly Whispers – June 28, 2013,)  but that was much later.

What I found that day on that paper in the bible was two names I had never heard before:  JOSIAH H. HAYWOOD, my great grandfather, and his wife MARGARET L. ALEXANDER, my great grandmother.  I have written before  (I Give Thanks Today – Nov. 27, 2013)  about discovering how Josiah went off to war and never returned.  My research leads me to believe that he died at the Battle of Bentonville (NC) against Sherman on March 19, 1865 and is probably buried in the mass grave there.  There is no record of him after that battle.

But Margaret!  Ah, Margaret!  There was no other bit of information listed anywhere

that I could find about her life before she married Josiah.  There is their marriage bond, dated 1 JAN 1850, with no other names except the bondsman, E. S. Harkness. 

There is the census of 1850, their first.  They were 25 and 19 years old, just married.  They are living right beside his mother CATHERINE WENTZ HAYWOOD on the extensive HAYWOOD land.

1850 CENSUS

There is the census of 1860 showing Josiah and Margaret with five children. 

1860 CENSUS

NOTE: The 3 year old “George” should be listed as “John A.”

And finally, the censuses of 1870 and 1880 showing Margaret’s life, raising her family alone after the war with her five remaining children out of the original seven. By 1870 Mary Ann and Barnett have disappeared.  They both could have died, or Mary Ann could have married and Barnett could have been lost in the war.  I can find no further record of them

.

1870 CENSUS This illustration represents the bottom of one page and the top of the next.  The Thomas 10 yrs is my grandfather, THOMAS MELTON.NOTE:  Josiah went by “Jo.”  So he is alternately listed on various records as Josiah, Jacob, or Joseph.

The last record for Margaret is on the marriage license of her son, my grandfather, Thomas Melton HAYWOOD as of 12 MAR 1883, the "mother" is listed as “deceased.”  So she died between 1880 and 1883.

There were hundreds of ALEXANDERs in the Mecklenburg County area at that time, and no way to find where she belonged.  She should be buried at Morning Star, but all the “ancient” graves there have disappeared.  (I have several family members who should be buried there, but cannot be found.  I have recently read that this old cemetery was “destroyed” in the 1940s, but I have not verified this yet, but can only wonder, if this is so, what crazy people could have done that!)

So, I have carried this ROADBLOCK with me for twenty years, believing it was a hopeless cause.  Never expecting anything  . . .  NEVER say NEVER!

One day the middle of March of this year, on a whim, I just decided to put MARGARET ALEXANDER through Ancestry.com once again in the public tree section.  Up popped all the trees I had explored so many times before, with no other information about Margaret.  Then suddenly, there was a tree which mentioned a father for Margaret!   I was astounded!  I immediately sent a message to the owner of this tree about this information – where had it come from, was there any verification?  I told her about my fruitless search for twenty years.  She came right back to me.  A NEW COUSIN WAS FOUND!

If you examine the censuses for 1860 and 1870 you will see the name John (see the note about his wrong listing as George on the 1860 census,) -  this is JOHN ALEXANDER HAYWOOD (1857-1930.)  He was Josiah’s son.  Note Margaret’s maiden name used here, a common practice.  John had a daughter named HESTER LEE HAYWOOD (1883-1952.)  She would have been my 1^st cousin, once removed.  Hester Lee married Samuel Boyd JACKSON.  All this I already knew.

From my “new” cousin I found out that Hester Lee HAYWOOD JACKSON had a daughter named Emma Lee JACKSON (1915 - .)  Emma Lee married JOHN HENRY SIMS.  She is now 99 years old, and still “alert and active” according to her daughter Sylvia who is my “new” cousin (2^nd cousin, once removed.)  Emma Lee remembers “discussions” about Margaret!  She remembers who Margaret was!  And from the research work on Sylvia's tree, I now have a line of ALEXANDERs going back to 1369!  This is a revelation genealogists dream of!  After twenty years of “drought,” I now have a “flood” of new information.  I can’t wait to jump in and see what other surprises lay in store.  I can’t thank my “new” cousin enough.  We intend to “keep in touch” and explore our families.

So no matter how many times you have run your names through the search resources, no matter how frustrated you become, how depressed you are about your ROADBLOCK, don’t give up!  With the wonderful new interest in genealogy today, new trees are coming on line all the time, trees that may have just that obscure clue you are looking for.

Good researching and

NEVER say NEVER